I CRIED TODAY.

Jarrid Wilson! For a man I never knew, I have found myself mighty emotional about his passing.

Jarrid was a pastor, author and mental health advocate who unfortunately took his own life last week. His death has shone a light in a very dark corner of the church. How it deals with mental health?

I remember working in the church, a place of love and light, and yet i often found myself consumed by a numbing depression and darkness. I didn't feel like I would comfortably talk about it though. I probably would have been told to 'increase my faith', or pray more. Maybe a 40 day fast or a couple of days upon the prayer mountain would be the remedy to my 'demons'.

Demons, which i believe has it origins in the church as a description for mental health issues, is a good place to start to take an honest look at our perception of mental health issues. Does depression or bipolar disorder equal to possession by one of the devils minions? Does anxiety mean that I am of little faith and do not have a deep understanding of the God I serve? Do suicidal thoughts mean that I am out of step with the will of God for my life? No they don't. And yet we constantly push these narratives. Why? It's harmful, and to the best of my knowledge, not scriptural.

We are world of broken people, depressed people, suicidal people, schizophrenic people, struggling people. People who NEED the church. Not their exorcism or bible bashing, but their love, time and help. People who need the church to be introspective and start to have honest conversations about mental health. Create a space where it's okay to talk about our struggles. We don't necessarily have to have all the solutions, but saying its okay to talk about it is a good place to start. And maybe stop calling them demons, that's good too.

I know I didn't take my life because my mother (one of the most prayerful people I know) decided that creating the space to talk about it, cry about it and helping me find help was more important that any scripture or prayer mountain she could share or take me too.

Jarrid Wilson! For a man i never knew, I cried for you today. Because when i read about you, I saw myself.